Friendships with the Pastor Pt 5
Ministers occasionally ask me, “Should I guard my spouse from the hard stuff at church?”
You may have different opinions than me on this. Feel free to express them.
In the early years, Amy knew everything. Because she was intimately involved, she made a big difference. She also experienced some deep and significant relational wounds. Unconsciously, I started “protecting” her from some of the controversy.
(When someone criticizes me, it hits her harder than it does me.)
For awhile I thought that helped. I’ve changed my opinion. I believe it is important to include our spouses on as much as they want to be included on. (Some may prefer not to bring the church problems into the home.) I try to err on the side of including Amy instead of protecting her.
Here is why:
- She is my best friend. No one cares more about me than she does. If she doesn’t know about what I’m going through, she doesn’t know how to minister to me.
- Even if something hurts her or us, it is better for us to hurt together than hurt alone.
- When we do hurt, it forces us to go to God together.
- If she is unaware of all the ministry and relational challenges, she won’t know how to pray as effectively.
- We are one. We might as well act like it.
I understand that ministry can be hard on marriages. We are blessed that our challenges tend to draw us together. I’m very aware that, for many, the opposite is true. If ministry challenges are coming between you and family, please stop reading this blog and do something about it immediately.
How has the ministry blessed or challenged your marriage? How can we pray for you?