Friendships with the Pastor

I stole this from my husband’s blog today. You will see why. It is good. 

I read this blog from Craig Groeschel pastor of  He is doing a series on his blog about having a friendship with the pastor.  People have a hard time understanding a pastors time, boundaries, kids etc…  We are people.  We need friends.  So here are 7 things (more to come tomorrow) to help understand where we are and how we deal with relationships.

  1. Don’t be pushy. Pushy people come across as needy. We minister to needy people all day. We crave friendships not more counseling appointments.
  2. Don’t tell us “God told you” we’re going to be friends. He may have, but that doesn’t work on us. Tons of people have told us that before. Friendship for us needs to happen over time, not be born because of something God told you but not us.
  3. Coming to a stranger’s house for dinner isn’t the high point of our lives. (You know a lot about us. We don’t know as much about you.) We work a lot of nights. Our kids are busy. Finding a babysitter is hard. Bringing our kids to your house often puts stress on us. A night at home is often more meaningful than a dinner at your house. (Some pastors will disagree with me and be very blessed by these dinners. Most aren’t.)
  4. My wife doesn’t want to send our kids to your house just because you want to baby sit them. You are probably an incredible person, but we don’t know about your neighbors or your kids’ friends or your uncle that might come by. There are too many weird people for us to send our kids to your house without knowing more.
  5. We are grateful for “gift cards.” Many pastors don’t have the financial margin to take their families out. Gift cards mean a lot.
  6. We love talking to you about things besides church and the Bible. We have other interests like you.
  7. We love your notes of appreciation. They mean more than you know. You have a way of sending them when we really need them. Thank you!

~ by pennymaxwell on February 21, 2008.

2 Responses to “Friendships with the Pastor”

  1. That was GREAT!! I love your honesty and for people to know that you are “people” too!! I do think that people love you both sooo much because of how awesome the 2 of you are that they just want to DO things for you in appreciation. This was a great way to tell how we can how our appreciation!!! Keep it coming!!!!

  2. Ok Penn, my one night on the computer and I am checking out all the blogs I have missed in the last few weeks…and trying to comment on as many as I can before I collapse and go to beddie bye…so here goes. Wow…this is super honest…at first feels precocious…is that how you spell pre-co-cious??? Anyway, but at the same time..soooo very true. And so freeing to be able to be that open about life as a pastor. When confronted with such honesty, it makes me really question how and when someone can truly feel the freedom to divulge and not be concerned with the risk that honesty brings. Things that make me go hmmmmm….

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