Love Hurts

I am asked often what is the most painful thing that I experience in ministry. Well, that might change depending on the day! 🙂 If you asked me that today I would tell you that it is people who don’t understand how correction from the Lord means that he loves them.

If you read through the bible, shoot or if you even glance at the book of Proverbs, it shows you how loving and compassionate it is to get corrected. What? Do you mean that being told you are doing something wrong is loving? Why yes, it is. Love often hurts.

If you are a parent, you know that in order for your kids to grow up and develop the way they should, they have to be coached and corrected, OFTEN! We get that as parents and we spend our lives helping to coach and direct our kids. At times we even understand when they are being corrected they feel pain, a lot of pain. After all you have to spank them at times, take things away from them at times, isolate them at times, and well the list goes on. I think you get the point.

So how come we often don’t get that God does the same thing to us because he LOVES us? We get that for our kids but not for our own lives. Is that a good example? We tell our kids that correction is necessary but then don’t know how to receive it ourselves. Feels like a double-standard to me.

Often times I watch people’s demeanor when they are being corrected and here is what I see in response. I will make a list for you.

1. Anger (how dare you correct me)

2. Fear (do you still love me)

3. Rejection

4. Shame

5. Resentment

6. Rebellion

7. Devalued

8. Defensive

9. Withdrawn

10. Embarrassed

11. Complacent

Do you know what this tells me? This tells me that somewhere in our lives growing up, and it probably started in our own homes, we didn’t get that correction=love. If we had been taught that correction=love from a young age then it would not be so difficult to receive it as an adult.

I want my kids to know that correction from God not only comes from him directly but it often comes from people he has placed in a position of authority over them. I want my kids to know that the leaders in their lives are there to make them better, they are there to sharpen them and protect them. Correction is inevitable and correction is necessary for their growth. Without it, they stay immature children. I realize that it hurts them when they get corrected but the pain of disobedience is way worse than any pain they might feel from being corrected. It is temporary, but the pain form disobedience can affect a lifetime.

So what can we all do? We can ask the Lord to show us what our response is to correction and ask him if it’s the correct response. Do we respond with gratitude, thankfulness and appreciation? Are we ready for the growth opportunity that now faces us or do we melt into the seat wanting to disappear? Do we realize that God truly does love us as is but loves us enough to not leave us as is? When we get that down we will understand and embrace correction in our lives.

It’s a beautiful thing.

How have your responses to correction been?


~ by pennymaxwell on January 21, 2011.

6 Responses to “Love Hurts”

  1. Good words Penny!Correction does = love. Today I read in Provers 24:26 “An honest answer is like a warm hug.” Sometimes we don’t encourage warm hugs! Always enjoy reading your blog when I get the chance!

  2. Very recently I have found myself in a place of “rejection” again. It has hurt, hurt deeply, this past week – however, today I am understanding why it has hurt. There have been numerous lessons I have gleaned from this moment in my life – and now I have an opportunity to apply them to my life.

    Through the process, there were a couple of moments I could have behaved differently, but this was part of the correction process. He knew the knee jerk reactions I would fall into…so He has simply used those moments to thwap me with a good sense of Himself in all of this, and helped me realize just how much this side of myself needs to say a permanent good-bye in my life – and this is more for Him, than me.

    So overall, through this moment, my responses to correction have been more embracing then they ever have been before. In hindsight, my responses to correction were so self-destructing, and shoved Him completely out of the picture. I would run away, ignore, or just shut certain things or people out for the sake of protecting myself. However, I have learned that pain is a valuable ally if it I choose to run to God with it.

    My coined phrase in my life now, and it will be for as long as He needs it to be, is…”Do it scared.”

    Life is going to be scary. There will be pain. There will be moments you will get angry, hurt, rejected, offended, etc. It is inevitable – but it is not that we experience these things that reveals anything, it is our responses to these things that reveals everything.

    Thank you for the post today, Penny. It has served as a deeper catharsis for my life at this moment, and is simply confirming I am on the right path in the lesson of correction from God in my life.

  3. Very good! This is so true. Jesus corrected His followers and His disciples even more! Thank you for the reminder that we never outgrow God or a need for correction.

  4. It’s outstanding how God works. I fasted this week (something super new to me) I questioned the point of this and the power of it. And I don’t mean questioned a little I mean deep like is God even real questions (I didn’t voice this to anyone) and he set me straight on a very bad direction that I was headed in. He used my friend as the tool of correction, but he knows me so he knew that it had to come from this one particular friend for me to receive the correction and it was hurtful and painful, but I know how much this particular friend loves me, so I skipped right down to rejection and shame. I called out and yelled today at God wanting to know what the deal is and he used someone else and the only person who I truly trust about my family history to explain why the correction came. She didn’t know about the e-mail from my friend but she told me things about my family history and God said to me your learning this so you won’t repeat it! I’m the worst of sinners, I fall short often and quick and here He is loving me guiding me and directing me on my level. I do believe I am a child of God and maybe Jeremiah 29:11 is about me – (I told another person not to Jeremiah 29:11 me because I didn’t feel he meant me at all) Wow

  5. Great post!Thanks for sharing. Great choice on the photo too…it so beautifully illustrates your point. It hurts sometimes, but if correction = love, at least we know that we are still loved!

  6. this message is so timely, last night we had a very long chat with my fiance. We have been doing wrong stuff like drinking and once it come to Sunday, we either oversleep or just lazy around and not go to church. last night he came out strongly and said this has to come to a stop and each of us must attend church and seek spiritual nourishment. He mentioned that for sometime he had not had peace and therefore it was time for a turn around. if we didn’t, then chances were that we were gonna lose each other. My first reaction was, I don’t do this thing, we both do them, then I realized he wasn’t even blaming me. It was him first then me. Then I felt that I had let him down, I had not encouraged him to good works, but he too had cooperated. then I also felt he probably felt like I was a stumbling block to him and wanted me out of the way. All these things were going through my mind as he spoke. He said heaven is real and if Jesus came back just then, we would be headed for hell.If we got an accident last last, we would not see heaven. I can tell you Penny, it hurt. It has sat heavily on my shoulders through today and that’s how I came across your blog. That correction = love I want to believe, that’s the only way the heavy thoughts I have will go.That God uses the people he has placed in our lives I want to believe. I am willing to change my ways, and go back to God. I hope someone out there can pray with me.

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