Why Should I Show Up or Open Up?
To continue what we were talking about yesterday, I want to say this. There are reasons why we don’t allow others in and why we try to do things on our own, or the “Christian” way which is just “me and God”. God knows and nobody else needs to, right? Really what we are saying is “I have been hurt and I am afraid to trust again”. That is the reason we don’t know how to be there for others too. It is just too painful. In fact other people’s pain can bump up against our pain and we just don’t want to feel it. We don’t want to feel our own so we certainly cannot be there for you to help you walk through yours.
Let me first say that I understand being hurt. I have been hurt too. Look at who Jesus was talking to and who was sleeping while He was about to go to the cross. It was James and John, who jockeyed for position in Jesus’ kingdom, and it was Peter!! Need I say more??? The three people who were closest to Jesus had issues but they had great things they brought to the relationship too. I mean even in this account they were not there for Jesus but it did not negate the value of friends, even when they blow it! We all need them. If Jesus did not NEED them he would not have tried to wake them three separate times! You get the point? He NEEDED them! God’s Son needed people to be there for Him when He was in pain!
Ok the other reason we don’t allow others in is because we feel like people will look down at us if we admit we have problems. So think about Jesus in that scenario. He could have thought that Peter, James and John might question Him being the Messiah if He shared His deep anguish with them. Or maybe Jesus could have thought that they will think that He is not such a great leader if He does not come across as totally composed. After all He is the Son of God, you know. Jesus could have thought those thoughts and quite frankly we have sometimes hid our hearts because of what others might think but Jesus did not do that. I know as a pastor I have often felt I had to be perfect in order to lead people and be credible. You know people are not looking for that from me and they don’t want that from you either. They just want someone who is the real deal and with the real deal you must understand that pain is always in the equation. Jesus himself could not escape from it and neither can we.
Will you let others in? Will you join others when they are in pain?