I Am Ok With Hurting Your Feelings!
I have a good friend who has a similar call in life that I do, which is to help people lead successful Christian lives. He said something powerful today and I want to share it with you. He said, “One of the most loving things you can do is to hurt someone’s feelings.” He went on to say that Jesus did it all of the time. He brought truth in situations where there was none and at times it hurt people. Jesus ran into a Rich Young Ruler who thought he had it all together. He thought he was doing everything to live a holy life. Jesus then pointed out the one thing that was really keeping the Ruler from becoming what Jesus knew he could be. So, Jesus told him to sell all he had to try to instigate this Ruler getting a clue that he was missing something. The Ruler had a choice to make. He could listen to what Jesus was trying to get through to him or turn the other way and stay the same. The ruler chose to stay the same and he went away sad. Jesus was sad too because He loved him. We also see in scripture where Jesus called a Canaanite woman a dog and the Pharisees a brood of vipers and frankly both of those comments could hurt someone’s feelings, but notice something in each situation. Those who had a right heart and an inclination to change did. You see when Jesus hurt people’s feelings they did one of two things, one group loves and one group tries to destroy or kill him (either physically or with their mouth). Jesus confronting people’s situations in love always provokes people to either work it out or blame and run.
I face the same situations many times as a pastor. People who attend Freedom House who are desiring of healthy relationships will have them and those who don’t won’t. There are times when it is necessary to hurt someone’s feelings so they will stop living in a façade like the Rich Young Ruler was. And yes those who don’t want to get healthy usually use their mouth to destroy just like they did to Jesus or they run. I want to be like Jesus in the fact that I am more concerned about whether He is pleased with me than winning a popularity contest. My heart is to see people grow in the things of God and when I see someone with a “Rich Young Ruler” complex it saddens me. I am sure it must have hurt Jesus too. My favorite part of ministry is to the “Canaanite” types, those who really have a heart to change and grow. I love to hear the story of her and how when Jesus confronted her deal she changed. That is healthy. I love it!!!
So what am I trying to say? I am ok hurting your feelings at times if it means you will grow closer to the Lord. As Jesus modeled, it is one of the most loving things I can actually do.