How do you handle hurt?

I hope you read my earlier blog, “Do you Dream Together,” where I talked about how couples thrive when they share a common dream. It doesn’t matter what dream you share, as long as you dream it together. For us, it is church building. For you, it may be building a successful business. Both are really forms of ministry because in any job, as Christians, we are called to help people. In any venue God chooses to use us, we can have a huge impact if we work as a team. Everything we do is ministry if we do as the Bible says and do everything as unto the Lord.

Knowing that the dreams God has given us are our ministry, I want to share with you one hindrance couples commonly face in being successful in seeing their dreams come true. It is called the Pain Threshold. What do I mean by this? Well, ministry is a full contact sport. You take hits, you get pounded, and you get cut and bruised. You see, there is no opting out of pain when you deal with people. The Bible says we are to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice. Weep? Yes, ministry isn’t all about rejoicing, there will be weeping too. Real people have real issues and we have to get into the trenches with them if we want to help them. In ministry we deal with people’s money, people’s problems, people’s past, people’s families, and on and on. Quite literally, we are dealing with people’s eternity. That is so HUGE.

When someone you are trying to help hurts you, and trust me this is inevitable, how do you respond? Do you retreat or pull away? Do you duck and cover? Do you deny that you are even hurt? Do you retaliate or completely fall to pieces? Do you numb yourself so you won’t feel hurt again?

If you can’t handle the hurt, your ministry will stagnate because your ministry will only grow to the level of your Pain Threshold, the amount of pain you are able to withstand or handle. So, if you can’t take the hit, take some time to figure out why, because that proverbial glass ceiling will only limit what you can accomplish. The higher you are in leadership, whether it is in your job or your church, the greater your pain management skills must be. Keep in mind that your gifts and talents can take you far beyond the pain you are able to bear. If you think that’s a good place to be in, just look at Britney Spears. Instead, understand your Pain Threshold and how it currently limits your effectiveness and cultivate your pain management skills. 

Tomorrow and the days to come I will talk more about this. Stay tuned.


~ by pennymaxwell on November 28, 2007.

6 Responses to “How do you handle hurt?”

  1. What about when someone is trying to help you and you retreat, pull away, duck and cover, fall to pieces, and say you don’t want to be “fixed”? I was with friends last night and we all prayed and asked the Lord to wake us early this morning to speak a fresh word to us. He was faithful and I woke up to the sound of a phone ringing at 5:43, however, no phone was ringing, just my wake-up call. I started out reading my bible and everything seemed to be about God dealing with my enemies. For some reason that was challenging me this morning. I know my struggle is not against flesh and blood but against the powers of darkness but it is so easy to put people’s faces on our “enemies”. I had a vision of me walking through life with a blindfold on, and everytime something brushed up against me I felt like I was in a battle. I felt like God said to take off the blindfold. When I did, I saw that yes, the enemies of my soul were there. But in this vision they were bound, tied up, in groups of three or four all along the path of my life. If I can just walk through life with clear eyes, knowing that God has gone before me and dealt with my enemies, I can walk in confidence. I’ve never liked that word confidence simply because it is the antithesis of everything I’ve ever felt. I’ve always associated it with “better than” because I’ve always felt “less than”. But knowing that I can be secure and confident in God’s ability to take care of me is like a supernatural medication for my previously limiting Pain Threshold!

  2. Girl, you have come a very long way and God is still working through those things as you know. What I try to do is in my life realize that although I still have a distance I want to go, I am way better than when I started on this journey. Just in the last few weeks you have sky-rocketed. I have watched it with my own eyes and I am impressed! Get ready, it is an amazing ride. Maybe at ChicChat this week we can talk more about this.

    Hey, any other ladies want to offer some feedback here (or gents). This is what this blog is all about, all of us getting healthy and giving it all we got!!

  3. Kelly I am so proud of you. The way you explain things makes those that are reading and listening really get what you are trying to get across. I can see why the enemy would want to hold you back, because when you start seeing the woman that God sees when He looks at you watch out devil nothin’s gonna stop this girl. Keep pressing on Kel, you are on to something.

  4. Good stuff Penny! The hits here are so much higher then I thought it was going to be. Kind of like when you enter the octagon and get the first punch, it’s only then you really take your opponent seriously…you wonder if you underestimated him. (**Sorry for the Ultimate Fighting metaphor). The real question I am wrestling through this is : How do you increase that pain level? And not just TOLERANCE (which is hurting, but refusing to show it), but really dealing with it right? The enemy is the enemy and the fight only gets stronger (I’m guessing). For me, I think what I am realizing is that there are some other things on the side that I am allowing to tax my “pain threshold” before I ever enter into the fight with the enemy, so my threshold is lower then it should be. I think I am examining my heart to see what I’m carrying that could be draining my pain threshold. Make sense?

  5. Stay posted Nathan, I am going to be hitting all of that!! I got ya covered! 🙂

    The reason the hits seem harder as a senior pastor Nathan than when you were a college pastor is because they are. I mean when it thundered and the lightning crashed you could go crawl into bed with your spiritual parents when you were afraid. Now people are wanting to crawl into bed with you and you are having to calm them from the stroms instead. You are the parent now. You and Lisa are amazing!

  6. this word has really motivated and i hope it will elevate me in life.please i will be glad if i can get friends who i can share my views with and those who can really advice me thanks GOD BLESS YOU

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