Do you dream together?
One thing that my husband and I love to do is coach people in their marriages. It’s not that we think we have arrived, but we have learned a little something in our over 15 years of marriage. It is funny, I actually talked to someone the other day who told me they had been married for 35 years. I was amazed until he chuckled and confessed, “Well, it was to four different women, but I have still been married for 35 years!!” Let me say I have been married to the same man for 15 years! Ha!
I have noticed that one reason couples pull apart is that they do not have a common dream. Let me put it to you like this. Troy and I lie in bed at night and dream about the people that God is touching through Freedom House. We remember the days when we had just started and there were two people and no money—only a dream to see people touched. We talk about God’s faithfulness and how He has brought us through time and time again. We share a dream. We share a calling.
Troy has been traveling these last few weeks quite a bit, but it has been ok with me because I know he is furthering the cause of Christ. He has been speaking in Orlando, Atlanta, and the Blue Ridge Mountains. The kids and I are fine. Why? For me, ministry has never been the proverbial “other woman.” I have never resented Troy’s role in ministry because I stand along side him and dream with him. When he worked in the secular market his career was not the other woman either because I knew his heart and his plan was to be financially successful so our family would be taken care of so we could launch into ministry and be a blessing to others. I also know that my attitude about my husband’s commitment to ministry will be emulated by my kids. Sure, we all miss him, but I don’t want my kids to grow up resenting ministry. They understand, by my example, how to support their dad as he is helping others grow closer to Jesus.
In the days to come I hope to talk about each person’s Pain Threshold. This is our ability to handle situations on the emotional scale. Too often, instead of understanding this, we try to compete instead of complete. We are one flesh as the Bible says, and we aren’t on opposite teams. I know I cannot shoulder as much as Troy, and that is ok. His shoulders can bear much more than mine, but I have my own role. This is something my husband has taught me about and I look forward to sharing about it in a future blog in order to encourage those of you who are married about being able to serve God together no matter what you are called to do.
I’m not just taking about full-time ministry either.
My dentist (you can find him on my favorite places) also works with his wife. He told me that, since she started helping him, his practice has more than doubled—in one year. Her vision was just to help him be successful and she has succeeded. In whatever your calling is, in whatever that looks like for you, is your vision to help your husband succeed in what God has called you to? That is a powerful thing for a wife to strive for. Hey, that rings of Proverbs 31 doesn’t it? My dentist and his wife are a wonderful example of a husband and wife team. It makes me realize that ministry can happen anywhere, even in a dentist’s chair.
Go for it. Dream together, and dream big!